British Happiest at 38

People in Britain are at their happiest and content with life at the age of 38.  The new poll conducted on 2,000 British adults, aged 18 and above, also revealed that Britons better about themselves in their thirties than when younger, suggesting that it’s “not just wisdom that comes with age”.

http://zeenews.india.com/entertainment/and-more/brits-happiest-and-most-content-at-38_99176.htm

Not Wanting The Labour Pains

Just wanting the baby and not the labour pains is the route down the road often travelled.  The destination that this road leads to is mediocrity.

The Bible mentions “Go to the ant – consider its ways and be wise”.  The ant is one of nature’s most productive creatures.  Have you seen how motivated and organized ants are?  Look at the ant working and you will see the heights of single-mindedness of purpose.

We see Pandit Shivkumar Sharma and other music maestros perform and notice public admiration that they get.  What we don’t see is the painstaking efforts that they have put in during their training to achieve mastery.  Pandit Ravishankar would train in Maihar in Madhya Pradesh, India where it is 47 degrees centigrade during the summer.

Why do we want the finished product right away?  There is nothing in nature that seems to want things this way! The trees don’t bear fruit unless it has grown and matured enough to do so.

Work ethic – the fact that work in itself is good – is what schools and colleges must build into its students.  Parents need to mould their children and instil a set of values about the moral benefit of work and how the attitude leads to development and refinement of character.


Copyright - Nitesh Kotecha

True Empowerment

Empowerment has been the major thrust in management philosophy.  Empowerment at work is the availability of opportunities at the work place for the employees to be able to make their own decisions about their tasks at work.  Many business houses are practicing empowerment with their employees in order to offer better opportunities at work and to create an environment conducive to employee satisfaction.

Empowerment entails, amongst other things, some autonomy.  There are many theories and much research material on empowerment.  However, it believe that true empowerment lies is a superior’s ability to manage himself WHILE HIS SUBORDINATE is exercising autonomy.  The degree of autonomy may vary as per time, place and the situation – but autonomy remains at the core.

The “trust deficit” and the negative fantasies of “existential risk” in the superior’s mind strike at the heart of true empowerment.

The success of any organization depends on the ability of its organization structure and management to empower the lower hierarchy.  This is a given.  However, the flip side to this statement is that the success of any organization depends on the ability of its organization and management to

a)       Trust their own HR department about the quality of the employees that it offers positions to

b)      Trust the organizational structure and its systems of checks and balances

c)       Trust themselves and replace their insecurities and fears with a positive mindset

True empowerment fails when the above core ingredients are missing


Copyright - Nitesh Kotecha

Negative Feedback Can Be Nourishing

Our concept of our self may, at times, prevent us from accepting feedback that works against it.  We may form mental images of ourselves that may, over a period of time, drive us away from reality.  We may thus experience dissonance when we receive negative feedback from our work or home or from the social environment at large.  Businesses can get arrogant and forget the basic fact that a business is a business only because there is a customer.

We may wonder what kind of a sequence of thoughts or events take place before this non-acceptance of negative feedback or arrogance creeps in to our system of thoughts and behaviour.   I was scratching my head over them and here are my thoughts:

Failure is built in to success:  Success can be a real enemy.   Success can cause blindness and complacency.  The euphoria accompanying success can create an impenetrable wall that can block all the synapses through which we connect to the world and experience reality.  The ability to challenge oneself, introspection and humility are the only antidotes to this trap.

Pride comes before a fall:  As clichéd as this proverb may sound – it rings true.  Pride is the culmination of our self concept of infallibility.  The inflated sense of our accomplishments blocks our ability to accept negative feedback.

So how is negative feedback nourishing?  Well, this depends on our ability to generate action as a result of the feedback.  We have to differentiate the roles that we play in our lives with what we are as a person.  This crucial separation is what may be required so that we may not gather rust. The basis of this crucial separation comes from our language and daily communication.

Copyright – Nitesh Kotecha

Life Lessons From A Child’s Speech

My son Saatvick was campaigning for the post of the “Sports' Captain” for his house.  He was enthusiastic about his speech and its content.  When he came home this October, he brought me a copy of his speech.  It was intriguing.  Here is the speech:

“It is rightly said that action speaks louder than words”.  I, Saatvick Kotecha, am a candidate for the Sport’s Captain for this current academic year.  I have a manifesto and I hereby commit myself to everything mentioned therein.  I will not only encourage sports in the school; I resolve to enforce discipline and add sport to sports.”

“The frequently asked question here at school is what would my attitude be if I were to lose?  Here is my answer – I don’t believe I will lose.  In case I do, there is no problem.  I shall pursue my objectives as laid out in my manifesto.  The idea is that no one ever becomes a boss – there is always someone at the top or at the bottom.  There are no bosses – only helping hands.”

“My symbol is a traffic light.  The red color asks us to stop and think.  The yellow color signifies our preparedness.  The green is for “Go!”  This is the approach I will have in all I will do as your Sport’s Captain.”

“I hope you will make a precious contribution in my favour when you approach the vote box”

This is not exactly your “President of the United States of America” kind of speech.  However, there are many lessons that can come to light when we peep in to the workings of children.

1)       Why worry about being the boss?  The idea is to do work.  Robin Sharma talks about a leader with no title and I feel this is exactly what my son was talking about.  A leader is a person who sees a situation and takes charge.  He is not worried about getting some official title for himself

2)      Why worry about who gets the credit?  If you see a situation that needs a fix, you go about asserting yourself till its fixed.  It is typically the higher-ups who get credit for work.  However, a sincere worker does not need credit as he is comfortable with his self concept and self esteem.

3)      The words “add sport to sports” are very crucial here.  To me, this forms the crux of the speech and also gives me an insight into what my son was thinking.  The whole idea of “adding sport to sports” is about integrity and character.  Sportsmanship is the ability to play a sport competitively while respecting all the participants’ right to the number one position.  It’s about mutual respect.  It’s about learning to meet defeat for what it is and not who was instrumental for it.  It is the falling and rising and the falling and the rising – and assuming that all this falling and rising is in harmony with nature that builds sportsmanship - and eventually leadership and character.

Copyright – Nitesh Kotecha

Focus On A Few Things

The ability to achieve depends on your ability to focus on a few things.

One cannot drink the ocean.  A career decision, the choice in formal education etc – all these depend on your ability to select a specialized area of knowledge and then focus on it.  This is the way to excellence.  Spreading our attention too thin does lead to under-performance.

The root of this predicament can be drawn to bad parenting.  Dominating parents do unconsciously make decisions on their children’s behalf while the children are in their formative years.  The children do loose ability to think through the consequences of those decisions largely on account of the credibility associated with the parents as well-wishers.   The loss of ability to think through gradually eats into the basic ability to make decisions.

During the course of my teachings, I have met many students who are lost.  They are lost in terms not understanding what they are doing, why they are doing whatever they are doing, and most importantly - what they should do.  They pursue their education in an auto pilot mode where somehow the School and College seem to have taken the responsibility to perfect its student.

Parents need to ensure that they are more focused on helping their child develop their focus by gradually manoeuvring them into what it really is that they want.  Manipulation can be the enemy here if the parents are actually cajoling them into their own unfulfilled dreams and not what the child really wants.


Copyright - Nitesh Kotecha

Laws of Success

My son returned from school with a handwritten note which mentioned “Laws of Success”.  I have no idea of the source of this material.  However, I found it intriguing.  These are simple statements and yet not simplistic.  Intelligent people don’t like to pay attention to simple things, some say.

I found much merit in these statements and I shall post them for you.

The Greatest Cripple – Fear

The Greatest Sin – Gossip

The Greatest Mistake – Giving Up

The Greatest Mistake – Good Health

The Most Satisfying Experience – Doing Your Duty First

The Best Action – Keeping the Mind Clear and the Judgment Good

The Biggest Fool – The Person Who Lies To the Person in The Mirror

The Most Certain Thing in Life – Change

The Most Potent Force – Positive Thinking

The Greatest Opportunity – The Next One

The Greatest Though – God

The Greatest Victory – Victory over Oneself

The Best Play – Successful Work

The Greatest Handicap – Ego

The Most Dangerous Person – A Liar

The Most Ridiculous Trait - False Pride

The Great Loss – Loss of Self Confidence

The Greatest Need – Common Sense


Copyright - Nitesh Kotecha