Alone We Fly

There was once a seagull

In search of food for his little one

The search took all day

So he took a deep breath to say

“Alone we fly, my dear son”

In the fine tradition of his people

He flew out with his little one

The lesson took all day

And he took a deep breath to say

“Alone we fly, my dear son”

Soon his health was a little dull

He sent a word out for his little one

The moment took all day

When he took a deep breath to say

“Alone we fly, my dear son”

Of course there is a moral

For a story as simple as this one

But I am not going to say

Will just take a deep breath to say

“Alone we fly, my dear son”

©Nitesh Kotecha

Remember Yourself

A prince by his wrong behavior had enraged his father.   The Prince’s behavior was so bad that the father had to banish him out of the kingdom.

The father was sure that his son would repent and would return and ask for forgiveness.  However, the prince never returned.  He never attempted to contact his father.  He never showed any desire to come back to the palace.

He wandered around the kingdom and found a group of delinquents.  He joined them and with his charm and ability, became their leader.

Many years passed and the father was getting older.  The King was now worried about his only son.  The King feared death and state of his kingdom after his death and so he sent one of his most clever ministers to bring back his son.

The minister went in a beautiful golden chariot with many servants and almost a regiment following him.  A great golden tent was fixed outside the village. He sent a messenger to this prince but he himself did not bother to turn up. The minister remained outside the village; it was below him to go inside the village. A poor village and it was inconceivable for him to enter the black hole where the prince was living with all those dirty people. The minister tried to contact the prince but the communication was not possible – the distance was vast. He failed and came back.

Then another, a more courageous man, was sent. He was courageous and he had understood the failure why the first messenger, the first minister could not communicate. Therefore, he did not go there like a minister; he went like a peasant in ordinary clothes, with no servants.

He simply went and mixed with the group. He became friendly, but by and by, he himself started to love that freedom. The palace was like a prison; there was no freedom. However, here everybody was free, very free. Nobody was creating any hindrance for anybody; everybody was allowed to be himself. They were drunkards, but they were beautiful people. They were gamblers, but they were beautiful people. He also failed because he himself never turned up to report to the king.

The king was worried. Now the thing was becoming unmanageable. He asked a third minister, who was not only courageous, but wise also – and that was going to be the last effort. The third minister asked for a three months leave – to prepare himself. Only then could he go. The king asked: ’What are you going to prepare?’

He said: ’To remember myself.’

Celebrate Your Stupidity!

Sophia Loren aptly said “Mistakes are the dues that one pays for a full life”.

The media has effectively marketed the idea of perfection and flawlessness in thought and behavior.  We see this in all self-help books, trashy interviews of celebs and famous people etc.  This concept creates a perception of success and the Aristotelian concept of perfection – nothing to add and nothing to remove.

We are humans.  It is possible for us to develop, occasionally, a loose tongue, an egocentric thought or pride for that matter.  It is also possible that our emotions take over and we fall prey to behavior that does not conform to the archetype set out by the media.

So what?  Being human, we have a right to our mistakes.  We can be really silly and stupid at times.

Carelessness, misjudgment or forgetfulness in thought, behavior and speech can cause mistakes. The norms or expectations for behavior or its consequences are derived from the intention of the actor or from the expectations of other individuals or of a social grouping or from social norms.

However, just as we do have a right to our mistakes, we have an option to go and clean it up.  The problem with the act of walking and cleaning up is that IT HAS NOT BEEN MARKETED strongly enough.  The image and perception of fallibility is strongly engraved in our psyche that we can torture ourselves with the idea of clearing up a matter, let alone doing it.

Walk up to the one you have possibly hurt and clean up your relationship today.  You may have done something silly or stupid.  It does not matter.  What matters is that it is important to bring your stupidity in your field of awareness.  The awareness will allow us to remain human possibly grow.  It gives us the positive reinforcement that is required when we goof up again!

Then, celebrate your stupidity.  Laugh at it.  Share it with your closed ones.  Lighten up.  Being on the path to perfection is better than perfection.

© Nitesh Kotecha

You Are Not Death

People create death because they desire security.  It is the desire for security and safety that creates death that makes one afraid of life and hesitant of moving into the unknown.

There is much misconception about death.  I offer another way of looking at it.  Our culture reinforces the thought that when we die, we go to God.  However, God may be understood as a state where there is the disappearance of the ego.  I would like to quote the saint Hazrat Mujadid Alf Sani (RA)

“Moving in Allah is the stage in which the seeker moves from the station of Names and Attributes to a state which neither word nor sign can describe. This is the State of Existence in Allah called ‘Baqa’.”

This is a state where there is a complete denial of the self and the realization of God/ Bhagwan/ Allah / and losing one’s self in the love of God, as my friend Faruk Patel commented.

Death is nothing but the death of everything that prevents the disappearance of the ego.

©Nitesh Kotecha

Knowing God

Once Alexander the Great asked Diogenes, "You are so learned, you know so much. Can you tell me something about God… and what God is?"

Diogenes waited for a moment and then said, "Give me one day's time."

Alexander came the next day but again Diogenes said, "Give me two days' time."

It happened again, and he said, "Give me three days' time," and then four days and then five days, and then six days and the whole week was gone.

Alexander was annoyed and said, "What do you mean? If you do not know the answer, you should have said so. If you know, then what is the explanation for the delay?"

Diogenes said, "That moment you asked me, I thought that I knew. However, the more I tried to catch hold of it, the more it became elusive. The more I thought about it, the farther away it was. Right now, I don't know anything, and the only thing I can say to you," said Diogenes, "is that those who think they know God, they know not."

Never Mind!

There is a story of Buddha.

Buddha was walking down a path with his disciple and a bystander hurled insults and abuses at the Buddha.  The disciple walked up to the bystander and challenged his opinion of the Buddha.

During this discussion, Buddha walked away.  The disciple soon realized this and said, “Master, I was defending you from that bystander while you walked away.  He was hurling insults at you.  Why did you walk away?”

The Buddha replied, “He does not know what he talks.  I chose to forgive him and move on.  I cannot be upset due to his lack of knowledge.  Moreover, he is giving insults and I have no need for them.  So I chose to move on.”

Our mental and emotional state decides how we interpret the situation around us.  Our near and dear ones frequently hurt us, or so we claim.  This situation is then followed with much altercations and clarifications.

One way to bypass this emotional situation is by standing apart from ourselves and making an effort to understand the nuances of the words from the speaker’s mental and emotional state.  It is possible that the speaker lacks training in communication skills and has thus slipped up.

Your ability to stand apart from yourself and the situation will allow you to assess the communiqué impartially and save you from potential hurt.  We can make efforts to ensure that a speaker’s communication deficiency does not upset us.

Nobody can hurt us without our permission.  Words do not have any power.  Control your speech and you will automatically learn how to respond to how and what others speak.

©Nitesh Kotecha