Not Being The Permanent Doormat

I have met many who live the lives of a doormat – they allow people to walk all over them.  I can understand that we may be tolerant and considerate; especially with the ones we love and care about.  However, to have somebody run over you is a pathological condition.

India, as a country, has been invaded so often, that our culture has adopted aggression as the norm.  Our mindsets have been attuned towards respect for power.  Power displays by our elected representatives is hangover from the British era.  The lack of accountability of Indians in public service adds glamour to holding power.

These factors damage our ability to assert ourselves.  Our schools project the teacher as not someone who teaches but someone who must be revered.  This conditioning of the child during the primary years creates a non-assertive mass where the group norms of submission get programmed and validated.

Religion and religious norms are oppressive and laden with guilt.  The rites and rituals are designed to bring about conformity.  The focus on the academic performance has been made so critical to life that independence in thought and action is short of a crime.

Success lies in our ability to assert ourselves.  We may assertively choose not to assert ourselves, and that is fine too.  However, we must cross over the various cultural and religious boundaries of thought and protect our individual rights.

Here is a short story to illustrate this point –

A man slapped a Christian monk. The monk was just as a monk should be; he gave him the other cheek: according to the rule.  The man slapped the other cheek too – and hit him even harder. He thought this is a great opportunity, if the fellow offers the other cheek then why leave it?

He hit him harder. But as soon as he had hit hard he was very surprised. More surprised than when the other cheek was offered because then the monk immediately pounced on him, sat on his chest and began beating.

The man said, “Brother, you are a monk, a Christian monk, what are you doing?”

The monk said, “There is no third cheek, now I will give you a taste of fun. Jesus’ rule is fulfilled now. Now it is me against you.”

The monk was very zestful.  He gave him a good thrashing.  He said, “Jesus said offer the other cheek – I have done that.  Now I am on my own.”

If you are offering the other cheek to defeat someone then you are in the situation of this monk.  

Soon you will have to spring...

Copyright© Nitesh Kotecha